It gets to the point where something that means so much to you, that has shaped you, your family, your life, whether for better or for worse begins to feel distant, you feel disconnected to something once so close to you. You begin to resist what you used to embrace, it’s not what it used to be. It pushes you away, further, further, yet inside you feel it, gently pulling you back. The connections too deep, the memories still fresh, the pencil marks on the wall where you and a sibling once measured your height, giggling, unable to draw straight. A moment of rebellion in your safe haven.
Day in, day out, surrounded by symbols and images harking back to a carefree time gone by. Circumstances differ, people change, family move on, family remain, home remains. Home tries to change, you change the appearance; a superficial alteration. Nostalgia, a broken record – a broke a broke a broke – the boredom, the relentless repetition of day to day life pushes you further away from the thing that was once your castle, your fortress.
You push further away, its comfortable, too comfortable, you push away, it pulls you back. It knows you, it feels you, it fits to your needs, comfortable, too comfortable.
You leave, you need it; to explore, to try new things, not a thought towards the home that you have left. You learn, you love, you hate, you discuss, you drink, you dance, you experience life in its purest form. You may not return to home, but if you do, tired and weary of life you know that the thing you have grown to dislike, the bricks and mortar that so nearly became your prison, will still be there when you return and you wouldn’t have it any other way.